Last week, a reader wrote in, taking offence to a quote in a previous column. In a piece on the twentysomething work ethic and ambition, I quoted a 21-year-old, who, referring to cars like Mercedes, Lexus and BMWs, said: "With a car like that, the babes come free."
The reader said the comment was insulting and objectified women -- and I totally agree.
But before I go on, let me emphasise that the person I quoted had made the comment in jest, and that he is a really sweet guy most of the time.
Now that I've said that, maybe he can get back to going on dates without the possibility of being slapped by women who may have read the column.
Yes, the statement is sexist, especially if a person who says it takes it seriously. It plays along with the age-old stereotype that successful men have earned themselves the right to whichever woman they want.
It ignores the fact that lots of women would rather have a man who has more heart than money.
Yes, a person who equates a woman with a car places women into a subhuman category: a prize, an object. And no, I don't condone it.
But let's face it. It's also an attitude that remains prevalent, despite whatever strides we've made towards equality. Pretending it doesn't exist is not going to make it go away. Neither does telling ourselves that things are supposed to be better than they used to be.
The reality is that women have been treated as objects since the first caveman decided his idea of a great date was to hit a woman over the head with a club, drag her onto his dinosaur-powered sledge and head for the underground disco.
Later, on the evolutionary ladder, he probably figured that if he had a more powerful mode of transport and a good-looking babe sitting in it, people would consider him more successful.
So out went the Model T-Rex and in came the cheetah-convertible, with the winner of the Miss Jurassic pageant in the front seat.
"Using expensive cars to attract women actually works," said 31- year-old John, whose battered Hyndai, he insists, attracts only car touts. "It's not the car but what it symbolises. Success, power -- and lots of women go for it."
The thing is, it works both ways -- if women are seen as sex objects, men are also seen as success objects. Any guy will tell you that his richer, more successful friends have more options on Friday nights.
Actually, the men don't even have to be full-fledged successes if they're young -- all they need is a high PEP level. Read that as Potential Earning Power.
Maybe that's why many young men would rather borrow daddy's Merc to go to Stude-baker's on Friday night than to drive the family Proton.
Maybe that's also why so many beautiful women hold out for men in Mercs and Beamers; while successful men, or men who are merely full of themselves, expect women to jump at the chance of going out with them.
It doesn't help that in this competitive, report-card-oriented culture, success is defined by what people own rather than who they are.
Taken to an extreme, how well you do is measured by how well you marry, especially when you're talking about a generation for whom affluence is taken for granted and upgrading is the catchword.
You can also argue that we're still steeped in a culture where women take a back seat to the men, even though the back seat is being pushed further and further to the front.
Even in the West, battles are still being fought as feminism and equality are being refined constantly.
Of course, there's the argument that men marry women who can get their genes replicated well, while women marry men who can best provide for the family.
And with the cost of cars and homes skyrocketing, marrying rich is a pragmatic move.
Sure, I want to marry a provider, but someone who can provide emotional more than financial support.
Someone who can be a father to the kids, rather than just someone else's employee.
"Yeah, stereotypes exist. So what? Just laugh it off, lor," said Hui Niang, a 31-year-old working for a multinational.
"Like-minded people attract each other -- and if they look at one another as objects, they deserve the person they get. I just look elsewhere."
Nothing works better than well-aimed sarcasm or humour.
Argue loudly and make a big deal about it, and you're likely to be branded as an uptight, overly-sensitive female who hasn't had a date in decades. It works against you in the end.
Ten years ago, I might have reacted a lot more strongly to such attitudes. But now I've learnt to pick my battles more carefully.
These attitudes are part of the world we live in. But it's only a small part of a much bigger picture. There are more pressing issues facing us, like keeping body and soul together in an increasingly complex world.
On a practical level, we also have to be employees, bosses, daughters, wives and mothers. We have to worry about mortgages, balance work and family and worry about getting good child care.
In more extreme cases, if you really want to make life better for women here, you have to deal with issues like poverty, illiteracy and domestic violence.
Maybe through what you do at work, home and in the community, you can leave an impression that will change someone's mind for the better.
The point is, we can't really control people's views, not if they've been living with those attitudes for ages.
The most we can do with other people is try to persuade those who are reasonable enough to be persuaded.
We can, however, do our best to bring up our own children differently.