LAZY Wednesday afternoon. Time sneaks by in s-l-o-w
motion. SLOPPINESS IS IN — COOL AND WICKED.
The lecturer never seems to get tired of this flora with the uninteresting property that every child has only one parent. Poor child.
Trees, trees, trees: the Bullshit Tree (B-tree), the Basically Sadistic Tree (BST), the Another Very 'Lei-jay' (AVL) tree. So what's next? Hmmm... computer scientists must have driven many botanists to NUTS.
You really can't blame me for daydreaming. I bet you can't be half as attentive in class too if you are heartbroken (*sniff*) not just once, but twice in just nine months. Yes, nine months. Once bitten, Twice shy; Twice bitten, Go and Die — these are the words of my buddy John. In him you find a great buddy, minus his sarcasm. Now he is just sitting... er... rather, snoring away beside me, indulging in his %sweet, sweet dream%. On my left sits another of my buddy, the weirdie Pei Fu, aka the W.O.Man (Wise Old Man). He is essentially the one's complement of John — pessimistic, logical and philosophical. Both of these guys can be a bit of a nuisance at times. But true friends are like a bottle of good wine, keep them and they might be handy when the right time comes.
LT 27 is the biggest lecture theatre in the whole NUS campus. And now it is only half-filled, and that is considered a very decent attendance by any standard. Frankly speaking, we still don't quite understand the rationale behind lectures. The idea is to get 500 students to pack into an LT to listen to a person called a lecturer delivering his or her monologue. But in reality, only half of the population bother to attend, and half of those who attend bother to listen, and half of those who listen bother to concentrate, and half of those who concentrate manage to understand. Some of us foresee that one day lectures will be abolished. True, we had wanted examinations to go as well, but we all know that is a tall order.
"Okay, in the next lecture, I will..." Mistake, mistake, my dear sir, never never utter these words. True enough, our lecturer has not the slightest chance to complete his line. The next moment sees kiasuism in its full swing. Suddenly, the same limbs that were heavy and sluggish a moment ago get a new lease of life, and everyone runs towards the exit as if there are freebies out there for grab. Miraculously enough, John seems to have mastered the skill of returning from dreamland at precisely the right moment. We dash out of the LT, dragging Pei Fu along, and head straight for food. Everybody understands why the big rush. We have no qualm about the government's plan to produce more computer science graduates, but we all think that they should have thought of expanding the canteen first before they expand the student intake.
We find a spot free of bird droppings on heaven†, drop our bags and files on the chairs, and proceed to the stalls. John, as usual, keeps himself busy with something to grumble about while waiting in the queue (which seems perpetually long as it moves at a rate on par with the rate of debugging your Pascal programs on a Sunday morning). This time he is whining about his less-than-perfect time-table, while Pei Fu tries to convince him that time-table scheduling is actually Nastily Practically (NP)-hard. NP-completeness is a third-year subject, but our studious and diligent guy always read ahead. We get the food, return to our 'booked' seats, and begin to engage in our daily noon-time ritual. I remain silent while the practitioner and the theorist argue on.
The 6 L's of NUS life: Love, Lecture, Lab, Loo, Lunch, Library. I am doing the 7th — L@@k. Someone at the corner of my eyes attracts my attention. Sitting a few metres away is a lady with such stunning look, alluring eyes and exquisite long hair I have never seen in my life. They say Beauty lies in the Eyes of the Beholder... what the heck... Beauty is only SKIN DEEP!!! Am I possessed, boy, am I possessed. Before long, she notice the unsolicited attention. Wait, is she smiling at me? Ooo-la-la, I feel like heaven. My friends catch the act too.
"Hey, Garf, Here's Lttking at You!", John seems equally excited.
"Stay C@@L. Be Yourself and Be Natural. Go and introduce yourself to her, man", he pushes.
"How could I? I'm just done with my Vanilla Shake. It just doesn't sound right."
"Have some horse sense...will ya? You should learn from me; I Dare to be Different. And while waiting for the =RIGHT= lady to appear in my life, I am having a GREAT time with ALL the WRONG ones!" There he goes bragging again.
"What if I stumble again?" I seek encouragement.
"It's frightening how unpredictable life can be", the W.O.Man finally speaks, "But, you ought to have Strength for Today; Bright Hope for Tomorrow."
With two strong pillars of support backing me, I pick up my courage. I decide to take action. I walk towards my dream girl, trying my utmost to Stay C@@L. Putting on a MiLLion DoLLars Smile ... /, raising my chest and sucking in the stomach to hide the bulging tummy due to an over-indulgence of milk shake, I take a deep breath, clear my throat, and out come these words:
"Hello... er.... U look familiar! Are U my JC's classmate?"