"... Do not expect the other person to read your mind when you yourself can't be sure what he/she is thinking. Give him/her and yourself a chance to clear doubts before jumping on conclusions ..." — ~~WHO~~

"... well if something that was unhappy has passed some people wouldn't like it to be mentioned again, they prefer to let it slip into the back of their mind ..." — ~~ NITE RIDER ~~

CONTEMPLATING on some of the advice in the People folder in the VAX bbs, offered to a troubled soul presumably in the same plight as I, I sigh a sound of despondence. Knowing what's the right thing to do is one thing; DOING IT RIGHT is another. "Addle-brained", "idiot", "moron", I continue to degrade myself, but no amount of self-abuse can possibly bring forth the slightest effect of exonerating the sense of guilt deep inside me.

It's examination season — all lectures have ended^†. It's also the Chinese New Year season, but the atmosphere is not there. It never will as long as you are in NUS, they say. Everybody is busy preparing for examination, except me.

It's the second day of the Chinese new year. John called me just now. He has found out Angel's departure time from Turk. I am not sure what I should do. [Readers: You are hopeless, Garf!] I recall what she wrote in her last letter: "Everything is over now. This will be my last letter for you." She probably doesn't want to see me anymore.

I am engulfed in total agony. Suddenly strange creatures start to appear around me. I must have gone bonkers, for I see a goldfish swirling furiously round a 10-foot tall blinking dwarf, fanatically trying to protect an angelfish from harm. BEWARE of the dwarf. Foxfire, a bodyguard of the dwarf, is seen busy puffing fire onto the fish, but to no avail, as water fears no fire. Bear, another bodyguard, digs his paw into the water to reach for the fish. So here goes the Chinese proverb: "Fish or bear paw, not both, as one has to go". SuperDoggie, probably a distant relative of superman, comes to the fish rescue, only to crash head-on with a bunch of hard-to-deal-with Garfields, and it becomes a "Cats n Dogs" affair. Soon, the Ninja-Turtle, Pisces Cowboy, Turkey ze mogwai, Sexy Viper join in the show, and before long, we have visitors like elEndRylL eLf from fairyland and ~Vogon Jeltz~ from outer space. Chaos is in full order. Screaming comes from all directions. "Where is angelfish?" "~~WHO~~ did it? WHO killed the turkey?" "Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!" ...

You guess it right. What a nightmare. The clock strikes seven, and almost simultaneously a spark of insight hits upon me. Why did Angel bother to explain in her letter? Why did she mention the date of her departure? Light has begun to shine upon the once blind-spot.

There is no time to lose. I have half an hour to catch Angel at the airport, if luck is with me. I decide to call a cab.

“ 樟 宜 机 场 terminal one, uncle, 请 快 点 儿 ， 我 赶 时 间。 ” ["Changi airport terminal 1 please ... er ... uncle faster please, I'm in a rush."] Speaking in Mandarin, I appeal to the man, who is in his 50's, and looks like the talkative type.

“ 没 问 题 ！ 送 朋 友 飞 机 ？ 旅 行 ？ ” ["No problem! Sending your friends off? Tour?"] His Mandarin comes with a heavy Hokkien accent.

“ 不 是 旅 行 ， 是 移 民 。 ” ["Not tour, emigrating."] I begin to notice rain drops on the windshield.

“ 移 民 啊 ， 选 在 今 天 ？ 今 天 是 新 年 啊 。 真 不 明 白 这 些 年 轻 人 。 'suka suka' 就 说 移 民 ， 'suka suka' 就 嫌 这 嫌 那 。 年 轻 人 ， 你 说 是 不 是 ？ 他 们 不 知 道 三 十 多 年 前 我 们 的 日 子 是 什 么 过 的 ， 现 在 日 子 好 多 了 ， 年 轻 人 ， 你 说 是 不 是 ？ 虽 然 什 么 东 西 都 涨 价 - 这 个 不 好 ， 不 过 别 的 地 方 也 不 见 得 好 到 那 里 去 嘛 。 不 是 说 移 民 生 活 就 会 好 嘛 ， 年 轻 人 ， 你 说 是 不 是 ？ 我 说 ， 我 们 要 学 知 足 ， 有 饭 吃 饭 ， 有 粥 吃 粥 ， 年 轻 人 ， 你 说 是 不 是 ？ 。 。 。 ” ["Emigrating ah, on new year day? I don't understand these young people, 'suka suka' emigrate, 'suka suka' complain about this and that. Young man, you say isn't it so? They never know how life was 30 years back ah. Now is so much better, young man, you say isn't it so? Although prices all have gone up, but life elsewhere also not easy mah, doesn't mean you emigrate life will become easier, young man, you say isn't it so? I say, we must learn to be contented, got rice eat rice, got porridge eat porridge lor, young man, you say isn't it so? ..."]

The guy is enthusiastically chatty and energetic. After a while, I find myself conditioned to respond automatically to his "young man, you say isn't it so?" with a blank smile or a half-hearted nod. Actually I don't mind. It helps to relieve the anxiety by diverting my thoughts away from Angel. But now the rain is getting heavier, and the man goes on, raising his voice a little to beat the noise.

“ 。 。 。 一 说 这 些 年 轻 人 ， 唉 ， 他 们 整 天 说 我 们 老 的 不 了 解 他 们 ， ‘ ma-lan 有 影 ’ ， 我 们 也 年 轻 过 嘛 ， 年 轻 人 ， 你 说 是 不 是 ？ ["... talking about the young people... sigh... they always say we older generation don't understand them. How can that be? We were once young like them mah. Young man, you say isn't it so?] (I nod nod)

“ 其 实 是 他 们 不 明 白 我 们 老 的 什 么 想 。 不 过 不 可 以 怪 他 们 啦 ， 他 们 还 没 到 我 们 这 个 年 纪。 不 过 现 在 一 些 小 孩 子 真 的 很 坏 ， 年 轻 人 ， 你 说 是 不 是 ？ ["Actually it's them who don't understand how the old people feel. But cannot blame them lah, they haven't reached our stage yet. But nowadays some youngsters are really bad, young man, you say isn't it so?] (nod nod)

“ 还 好 我 的 女 儿 不 是 这 样 。 她 现 在 在 NUS 读 书 。 哎 ， 年 轻 人 ， 你 也 在 读 书 是 吗 ？ ” ["Luckily my daughter is not like that. She is studying in NUS now. Ay, young man, you are studying also is it?"] And for the first time in the past 30 minutes of simplex communication, he pauses for an answer.

“ 是 的 ， 也 是 NUS ， 修 读 computer sience 。 ” ["Yes, in NUS also, studying computer science."] I anticipated that he would ask me why I study.

"Computah science?" He gets interested. “ 我 的 女 儿 也 是 在 读 Computah science 呢 ， 你 知 道 吗 ？ 她 现 在 读 一 年 纪， 你 呢 ？ ” ["My daughter is also in Computah science you know? She is in first year. How about you?"]

“ 噢 ， 是 吗 ？ 我 是 第 二 年 班 。 ” ["Oh, is it? I'm in second year."]

“ 噢 ， computah science 很 ‘ 凶 ’ 的 是 吗 ， 年 轻 人 ？ 开 头 我 以 为 学 修 理 电 脑 ， 后 来 我 女 儿 解 释 给 我 听 。 我 还 是 不 大 明 白 啦 ， 不 过 我 知 道 读 电 脑 很 ‘ 凶 ’ 。 我 女 儿 常 常 说 有 很 多 功 课 做 ， 很 多 'projit' 。 不 过 她 很 乖 很 懂 事 ， 她 去 教 补 习 来 帮 补 家 用 。 我 跟 她 说 ， 你 功 课 这 么 繁 重 ， 不 用 去 教 补 习 啦 ， 不 过 她 还 是 要 坚 持 。 啊 ， 你 认 识 她 吗 ？ 她 的 名 字 叫 'xin1 yi2' 。 ” ["Oh... computah science very siong one isn't it young man? At first I thought just learn how to repair computer, until my daughter tried to explain to me. I still don't quite understand lah but I know it is siong. My daughter always says there are a lot of work, a lot of homework, a lot of the thing called 'projit' (he means 'project'). But she is a very obedient and sensible girl. She gives tuition to relieve my burden. I told her, 'You don't have to give tuition, you have so much homework to do', but she insisted. Oh then, do you know her? Her name is Xin1 Yi2."]

“ 不 ， 我 不 认 识 她 。 ” ["No, I don't think I know her."]

The rain is getting real heavy, I can hardly see through the glass, but I can sense that we are reaching our destination.

“ 来 ， 到 了 ， ” "Here we are,"] the car comes to a halt, “ 希 望 你 还 赶 得 及 。 ” ["hope you are on time."]

"I pray so," I think to myself. “ 谢 谢 ！ ” ["Thank you!"] I pay the fare, grab the change and dash out of the cab.

Wait a minute. I sense something's wrong. I check the change, to find an excess of $20. The driver has made a mistake, and he is gone. "Never mind", I say to myself, "I know his daughter's name. I'll go back and check her userid and send her an e-mail and return the money to her."

I hurtle with all my might. As I make a turn at the entrance, I bump into someone I wouldn't want to meet, at least not at this point of time. No, he is not David. He is Aaron, my first year tutor. Like loan sharks and jilted lovers, tutor can be a menace at times. [Author: *shake head*] As there are no bushes around for me to take cover, I have no choice but to stop to make a courtesy greeting.

"Hey, you are Garf rite?"

"Oh yeah, hi Aaron! Yes, it's me." I smile, but what a nuisance this guy is.

We shake hands. Eeeeek! That guy must have forgotten to wash his hand after breakfast. It feels like it is full of grease. I feel compelling to wipe my hand clean, but on second thought I think I'd better resist the urge, as I recall a recent incident that involves a certain politician at a wet market.

"Sending someone off? How's your preparation for exam?" Oh no, not again. Eyes darting around, desperately seeking Angel, I catch no sight of her. I'm getting panicky.

"Sorry Aaron, talk to you later. Girlfriend more important lah."

IT IS A WORLD OF PRIORITY. [Author: how cruel, but I understand. Personal note: brother, next time you have gf I also know what to do lah.]

I've spotted her, at last. So has she.

We walk towards each other, slowly, each step bringing our heart closer together, and closer, and closer, and closer. Then I reach my hand out for hers, just like the day when I first held her hand on the beach.

"I am sorry Angel," I whisper into her ear, "I think I have just dirtied your hand." In my hurry I forgot to clean my hand. I HATE Aaron.

"Huh?" Angel stares at me in her greatest bewilderment. "Do you mean you come here all the way to say sorry for this?"

"Ooops! Yes, but there are more," I take a deep breath, "You know how clumsy I am with words. I want to say sorry not only for soiling your hand, but also for all the things I've done that have hurt you. Will you forgive me?" I look into her eyes earnestly.

She doesn't utter a word. She merely clamps her hand tenderly on mine. That alone speaks more than a thousand words. I reciprocate with a similarly gentle grip, applying just the right pressure. With this language of silence, words become redundant.

"Angel, we've got to go," Angel's parents come in.

Angel tilts her head in some kind of thinking posture for a second. "Hang on here, I'll be right back!"

We wonder where Angel is rushing to, and what she is up to. There is nothing we can do but wait...

3 minutes later, she reappears. I am delighted with the item she is holding in her hand — a cup of Strawberry Shake from [*censored by sysops*]. An assortment of feelings emerge within me when she passes me the cup of milk shake.

"Guess who I saw just now?"

I shake my head, playfully synchronising the action by shaking the cup of shake.

"I saw Pei Fu, but he didn't see me."

Pei Fu? What is he doing here? Strange.

"Angel, let's go, or we will miss the plane." Her parents are hastening her again.

"Mom, dad, you and sis make a move first. I'll catch up with you," she turns to me, "I've got to go now ... Garf ... all the best."

"Ditto... please write... and take care... Angel."

Reluctantly she slips her hand slowly away from mine. I just can't bear to let her go. I tighten my grip to resist the retraction. We stand still... the emotion is building up to a point when ebulition is inevitable... how I wish that time stops right here, right now...